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Tuesday, 15 May 2012

  • The Media Industry

    So, I watched one video I've probably watched once before in another form a long time ago (getting a dose of deja vu), but here is the video that I watched:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=endscreen&v=xabAcgvW0Zg&NR=1

     

    A lot of people today don't always remember that a lot of the stars are pretty much like steak on a plate left for hungry wolves and left as a bone for everyone to see and continue to play with later.  This video that I watched shows a couple of well known stars that have been trash talked and praised.

     

    I hope everyone remembers that when they get rich there's a lot at stake, so best be prepared for the worst to come the moment they receive the fame that they want.

     

    ~side note:

    I have a person very close to me that would rather live his life being well known and having a legacy than just finding happiness that is already around him and will be there for him always if he wants it.  I've asked him before if he wouldn't rather change his mind on all of that stardom stuff and getting known by being placed in history books or what not, it happens that people can get placed in a history book, but normally to reach that you'd have to make yourself known for something, he hasn't made up his mind on anything, what if he died today, would he have been happy with what he did so far on his last moments?  Has he accomplished enough or is he really at peace enough with himself to really be happy in those last moments?

    I've asked myself the same questions-if stardom, fame, and success is what counts, if that is what I want, if I can die happy with how everything has been supposing it all ended today, and I have different answers.  Today, I could reflect on this quarter of college/school and cry knowing it didn't start good, it's not going to end well, and remember all of the things that was said to me that makes me feel like I just haven't done nearly enough of what I've needed either because I couldn't get in enough practice.  And that I couldn't put enough of what I needed-the "wow" factor, I could say all of that and cry, be sad, feel depressed.  Yet, even in my sadness, I'd also look back and tell you all that I did what I did because I thought it was the best route, and that I thought it was what I wanted to do at the time, as much as I complain, I also fully know it was all on my shoulders, even though I'm doing bad and I'm having the hardest time catching up, I could still say it was all worth it, as heartbreaking it is to realize how unprepared and not ready I am to keep going, that I couldn't find many good pieces for my demo reel, or any of that...I did what I could-I'm happy with who I've met, I'm happy I even got to this school.  I'm happy I got a chance.  If I had to leave, I'd be very sad, this is all that I have been able to do, I wouldn't be able to graduate, I don't know if I'd get another chance to-but I couldn't even finish because there was no money left, but I think I would miss the people most.  I would wish everyday that I would've had more time with my friends, the guy I wanted to be with-I'd wish that he'd find someone and that he wouldn't be unhappy, but I'd still be wishing that I could've had a relationship with him again-that I had more time to just stay together with him.

    Thankfully, I'm still in school, thankfully I can say everything's fine for now until I go because when I go I'll probably be hurting for a long time because I will miss a lot of people.  But I can also say that, as famous as I would like to be, I'm okay with it if I just stay an ordinary unknown person.  I don't think I'll be known, and if I will be, that would be a great thing. 

Friday, 11 May 2012

  • Getting Behind on Classes?

    Well, yes, freaks, I've been having it rough for awhile, has it changed yet? No, 'cuz God has a sense of humor with me and likes to give me a hard time like the rest of the people around me-for fun.

    Anyway, got a couple slips to sign and turn in to the Academic director, but whatever-still trying to get through my classes.

    You know what though?  I caught up with the rest of the class during class, not supposed to do that, but I feel like I'm a little accomplished.  There was this one guy sitting beside me, looking at the teacher, or listening, couldn't follow along and I'm pretty sure even if he listened he wouldn't have been able to remember everything that Rocky said because the character rigging we have to do has so many steps in it that he wouldn't have unless he was already a full on professional.  I decided, hey since I'm in his boat-pretty much catching up on things in class maybe Rocky's advice to FOLLOW THE TUTORIALS will help him, what'd he do?  He continued to sit there.  -.-"  Fine by me, but man, when I get past you in character rigging because I have more fun because I took notes, you don't, and I have to follow tutorials because I'm behind anyway, well, I won't help you when you ask me, unless I feel like it then that's just because I feel good having the knowledge to help someone who doesn't know any better...

     

    Man that irritated me.

Saturday, 05 May 2012

  • Avengers Last night and Some Other Things

    I loved watching the movie, it had obvious scenes, and scenes that were downright awesome and hilarious, the couple unfortunate things about my movie experience that dampened things a little was the fact that people were so talkative in the movie theater because my outbursts could not compare to the amount of unnecessary outbursts coming out of the people from the theater last night.

    I don't want to give out any spoilers for those that haven't seen the movie, but I personally give that movie a good grade, so watch it if you have the chance to, and even if you don't have time-make time, it's a movie that will be worth it to watch.  Regardless of what the people that don't like the movie say, just watch it anyway.  You're not watching for their benefit, you're watching for your benefit.

     

    ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

    The other things, you ever get that feeling when your really busy and your mind just won't let the little things go?  I feel like that happens to me too often and I let it happen just because I'm emotional-it's not okay these days, people who have that problem know it's never okay to let the little things get to you, but what can you do?

    Maybe you'd feel better if you did things that didn't make you feel like you were wasting your time, like eating or sleeping enough so you'd be less cranky, or actually keeping busy with what is important.

    Still, giving advice is much easier than following advice, and that goes for the advice you give yourself on top of the advice that other people give.

    In the end, I don't think anyone should be obedient for the sake of obedience, although it helps make you more respectful of others, and less crazy, but it's helpful to know that you can choose whatever you want to do or at least work your way towards that goal, even if you've tried so long and done so little to make things happen.

    I've realized that the people I have chosen to love and spend time with these days are worth the grief I get, I don't think I'm really organized as of right now and I'm probably lacking in a lot, but I'm just too stubborn to care.

     

Friday, 23 March 2012

  • Social Perception and Finals

    When people walk around the hallways of wherever you work or go to classes, or wherever you hang out where you're around your peers, acquaintances-most especially friends or family are, change the way that you act because the way you are around some people differ from how you act around others, a lot of the time people think they know what they see and they never really check with the person to know or figure out what's going on unless they care about that person.

    There've been times I would've been the kind of person you could go to as an RA or a Peer Mentor, or some leadership person of a school, times change when things got hard for me, then people spread a lot of talk about how you are being.  I think people need to realize that we're all human, sometimes the perfect sweet young, nice woman they see gets a bit confused, but that doesn't mean that they become anymore dramatic, it's really how you're perceiving that person, and if you really are looking at that person, things aren't as exaggerated as you'd expect.  But people would rather look at surface appearances than realize what's going on. 

    I think it's insulting when people do all this big talk about you being crazy when you're having a hard time, how would you deal with something like that?  Here you are, doing whatever you can to live life without going to a counselor, or just do things in a way that helps you at least function well enough to get through, and people just judge...I mean really?  Why people waste their energy talking about people like that...I mean, come on-I realize you have some jiff about that person, but you're just complaining-why couldn't you keep your mouth shut?

    Ignorance isn't a great thing, most of us act like we know it all, we don't look around at each other nearly enough to realize what's going on unless it's with a significant other, so I think some of us should take it easy.

    Sweet mother of God...Finals, what a glorious time that is...You know, during those weeks people have a tendency to be a bit more tense...Sometimes you gotta say to yourself, you know what?  I bet this person is just stressed out from everything and just needs to calm down or be talked to, or something, then they'll loosen up somehow later, that or realize quicker when you're being a douche to people you care about, or realize when you're wrong and do something about it, sometimes sorry isn't enough, so you'll have to do more, but it's worth it.

    Remember how you treat others when times are hard...These days I've noticed some people are more quick to jump the gun about how they treat someone else when they're going through their day and they don't realize what they're doing unless they've already done it.  Sometimes, you're like that kind of person for years and after awhile you can't just keep saying sorry, you tend to get used to the way you can be and don't change unless you decide to, people get used to the way you are, then react differently once you do start changing.

    Personally, I'm probably going to change a lot as a person inbetween now and when I'm 30, and then the person that I'm going to be between 30 and 45 probably won't change that much unless a lot of hard times come around for me.  So instead of telling people of how I am or who I am all I can tell them are my likes and dislikes, that I am really mood based and will do practically anything based on the mood I'm in at the moment.  Nothing much else than that unless someone would like to know my personal history.  It's like what I would say to my cousins, considering that they're growing up, I will only tell them what they should know about me depending on whether or not I feel like they're ready to understand the kind of person that I am.  I'm not concrete, but I'm not a bad person.  Other people that are really straight edged can have a scewed view because they haven't gone through what others have gone through.

    It's sad to know my family thinks less of me because they don't approve of what I do just because they don't see the purpose that it serves.  I didn't want to be the kind of person that judges someone based on whether or not they look like a good person or act like one, I'd rather get to know that person and their habits. While it's still very difficult not to fall back on the kind of thinking that I grew up with, I've seen a lot of changes in myself and I'm glad I don't belittle others as much as I used to because I've met some very cool people.  Some do things that I don't approve of, but that's their prerogative.

Tuesday, 28 February 2012

  • The Aftermath

    I think I realize most of my blog is about dating, I should probably go on Datingish, except for the fact that there's a lot of random stuff I like to write about when I'm not going on about my life.

    Anyway, it has been a month since me and my ex broke up.  I'm still really confused about how to think of it since I'm still pretty shocked, but if I end up becoming one of those people I used to judge, the ones that went on to continue things with their ex's even if it looked bad, the ones that dated off and on for awhile, at least now I'm in a position to talk.

    I keep experiencing all of these situations I've never had to before, and it has made me realize that I used to be way more judgmental, naive, ignorant, un-empathetic person than I thought I was at the time.  These days I get irritated when some friend of mine makes a statement about what I've done and tells me what I should or shouldn't have done since he went through the same thing I did even if it wasn't his relationship and he doesn't feel things the way that I'm feeling them right now.

    I can't say what's going to happen with me and my ex, I'm so young and I have the rest of my life to experience, he's only a year older, even if I want something more solid, I couldn't say what's going to happen, I can say a lot of what I expect, but I don't really know for sure.  The reason why I want to expect things is so that I have that cushion and I won't feel as much of the pain if I get disappointed.  It's scary to let things just go however which way they will because I want so much security and I always have, I've always wanted that deep love I think practically every person wants, but whatever happens happens, sometimes there just aren't any reasons.

    Sometimes you have to be okay with change and sometimes you have to be okay with people leaving you even if they take everything with them.  As much as it has hurt, as confused and irritated as I feel right now about how my ex is being, I'm telling myself to be a bit lighter on things and just let things go.

    Besides, men have that nothing box, right?

    I hope that good things will come my way with him in the future and that there aren't as many bad times ahead, I'm not sure I can handle more without going crazier, but thankfully there's friends and communication.

Sagicorn113008

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    • Name: Sagicorn9021
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    • Member Since: 7/4/2009

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  • Fun-loving, cute, have hyper-active and serious tendencies, act, talk, and react to environment and surroundings depending on mood and situation, different, nice, half social and half not social, young, alive, free-spirited, caring.

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  • Sagicorn113008
    Where: My House When: 1997 So, my sister and I loved watching a lot of tv and movies and stuff-so, there were a couple of crazy contests we'd have in my room where we'd like get all the tapes out from under my tv, watch them, and then go back to watching cartoons on cartoon network-and we had the